Finding Moxie

Not too long ago, I took a job outside of the nonprofit world because the pay was better. Currently, I work a job that I hate. Despise. It might be the worst job I’ve ever had in my life. I’m underpaid and I receive no benefits whatsoever. I would go into the details of this job more, but this is the internet y’all…I’d prefer not to post it where it will never go away. Let’s just leave it at “this job is pretty awful” and I’ll spare you the details.

One of the positives of this terrible job is that it has made me think. A lot. About myself, about what I’m capable of and what I want out of life. For example, I have long since learned that I am much better suited to work in the realm of people, not profits. 

Lately my encouragement for myself has been “it can’t suck forever”. It’s the phrasing I use anytime I get upset about any issue or anytime I’m struggling. This too shall pass. Everything shall pass. It can’t suck forever. I’ll move on. I’ll find a better job. Things will get better for me. It works. Except, I have privilege. My privilege will allow me to eventually move out of a job I dislike. I can’t help but think about all the people that can’t. For them, maybe, this will suck forever. This won’t pass. They’ll be stuck in terrible jobs they hate. Underpaid. No health insurance. No paid time off. Nothing. Living paycheck to paycheck.

I’ve been thinking a lot about labor unions, and how all workers deserve a living wage, decent healthcare and some sort of retirement. American Airlines is casting its recent bankruptcy as caused by their labor union demanding too much by way of salary and benefits. Somehow, labor union members are cast as greedy workers who want to do as little as possible and get the most benefits for nothing. Is that true? Have we really come so far that WANTING to only work 40 hours a week, for a living wage, with healthcare you can afford and a guaranteed retirement too much to ask for? Do we resent labor unions because we all work ourselves to the bone, and suddenly because they are asking for what they deserve, it’s too much because we don’t receive it too? Seriously, fuck this “protestant work ethic” bullshit. It’s a pathway to exploit the many for monetary gain of the few. 

It truly saddens me that support for the labor movement is so low, particularly where I am in the South. The labor movement is working for what we ALL deserve. I won’t deny the problems the labor movement has - because, let’s be real here, no movement is without its problems. However, is the labor movement really a thing of yesteryear? 

In case you didn’t know, I’m a somewhat silly person (SHOCKER). I keep wanting to post about sex, or polyamory, or Occupy Wall Street, or LGBT issues, or reproductive rights…you get the idea.

This post came from the fact that I was really stupidly excited about the fact that I can now do TINY PIGTAILS in my hair. Let’s be honest…I’m a silly person. On top of activism, and passion for these things…I love internet memes, ridiculously neon clothing, fun hairstyles, loud jokes…for fuck’s sake, I have a neon pink chicken tattooed on my ankle (who I happen to love very much, thankyou) and purple hair. So today I want to write about silly things.

I am a big believer in silliness and playfulness. So many things in are world are boring, quiet, uninteresting….life is too short not to be playful. Why NOT own fairy wings and a tutu, and wear them on occasion? Why NOT make loud jokes? Why NOT dress in brightly colored clothing? I mean…come on. We have all the time in the world for super serious things. We could all benefit from some silliness from time to time - play is beneficial to people of all ages for a multitude of reasons, and yet we choose not to be playful!

There’s really nothing to fear about being playful or silly. There’s nothing dangerous. You won’t get in trouble. Perhaps it comes from a Burner mindset of immediacy and radical self-expression - sort of a “doing what makes you happy in the moment” type mentality. It amazes me that people get so STUNNED when I’m silly or choose to do silly things. 

So. You. Go do something silly today. 

I am quite sure people probably get sick of my “everything I do is political”, but hey, here I am writing about more random things I do that I feel have to do with my values!

I chopped my hair off today and it’s AWESOME. You should know - I have had long hair my entire life. Long, thick, super almost-curtain like hair. I loved it. I loved going to the salon and having the hairdresser talk about how long and healthy and gorgeous my hair was. I never did anything to it.  I hardly ever cut it (I cut it short once two years ago and hated it) and absolutely never dyed it. It certainly matched my don’t-speak-too-loudly don’t-take-risks hey-stay-in-line attitude. I’m not that kind of person (clearly).

So I dyed my hair purple and pink. And then, today, I chose to chop it off.

This is HUGE for me. It feels awesome and feels transformational. I feel like the fun, swingy hair fits my personality more. It’s bright and loud and it makes me have a personality to match. I can’t hide, and I can’t blend in. I am really pleased with that choice.

I’m sure that I’m certainly not the first person to experience the feeling that comes with having nontraditional hair that doesn’t conform to standard ideals. However, as someone who believes strongly in “the personal is political”, this feels way more in line with who I am. Why would I want a part of me to contradict that?

Hey, here’s a phrase I hear a lot.

“You’re too sensitive.”

I hear this phrase in a variety of contexts. I was just joking - you’re too sensitive. What I said wasn’t that mean - you’re too sensitive. Stop crying - you’re too sensitive. You shouldn’t take it that way - you’re too sensitive.

I really go back and forth about whether or not I find this phrase offensive. I will say that every single time someone says it to me, it stings. To me, it feels like a way for someone to diminish an intense reaction that I’m having. Hey, what I said wasn’t offensive - you’re too sensitive. 

Don’t get me wrong - I understand the necessity of occasionally having a thick skin, of being able to joke and jab at my friends playfully, to be able to let it roll off my back when someone insults me. However, I don’t view my sensitivity as a bad thing. My sensitivity is what makes me passionate about social justice. My sensitivity makes me unafraid to call someone out for their bad behavior or using language I find uncomfortable. I feel like my sensitivity is what keeps me from being complacent. If something stirs me and makes me so uncomfortable, I’m not going to sit idly by while it offends me.

Perhaps you should choose different words before you assume someone is “too sensitive.” Maybe examine your own behavior first. Did you use an offensive slur? Did you joke about something that person might be uncomfortable with? Don’t apologize for your bad behavior by saying “you’re too sensitive.” It still doesn’t make it okay.

I’m not advocating for approaching the world with kid-gloves here, but I think “you’re too sensitive” is a cop-out and an excuse.

At the gym tonight, I kept thinking of a wonderful list I read once, a list written by a woman of reasons to love her body. They were physical reasons, and weight-unrelated. I’ve decided to make my own - I want to share ten things I love that my body does.

1) My body can survive - and thrive - in ten days of desert conditions.

2) My body can help build a 30 feet tall effigy - digging holes, lifting heavy wood, putting it together, and then climbing it.

3) My body can leap into the air, dance on a football field, and keep a hula-hoop up as long as I want it to.

4) My body can eat fire.

5) My body can give me amazing orgasms.

6) My body can run 2.5 miles.

7) My body can fall out of a moving golf cart and come away with little more than laughter and one tiny bruise.

8) My body can stretch, bend, and still do the splits if I want it to.

9) My body can provide comfort and care to others in the form of hugs, a shoulder to cry on, and snuggles.

10) My body can do hang drywall, repaint a wall, climb ladders and work to remodel my house.

…I could go on. What’s your list?

We won you guys. We won.

rabbleprochoice:

I’ll start it off:

Love,

Rabble